The moment of truth

Today’s the day. It starts typically enough. The dawn simulator has done its trick and I’m semi-awake by the time my alarm goes off at 5:30am. All the same, I hit the snooze button twice. Pretty much just out of habit. Once I get up, I brush my teeth and take a quick shower. I hear the familiar coffee making sounds from the kitchen. The lovely scent of freshly ground beans spreads throughout the flat. I sit down and have some breakfast.

So, what’s unique about today? It’s my last day at work. It’s the final day I park myself behind a desk at this company, click my laptop onto the docking station. Last occasion that I launch my email and CRM and start working away. The day all laid out for me. From tomorrow onwards, it’ll change. There will be no more targets, tasks and calendar appointments assigned to me. Not by default anyways. I’ll have no role to adhere to. No blueprint to follow. How about that?

Sure, I am scared. Petrified in fact. There’s definitely certain safety and security involved in being busy. It’s as if being busy, keeping occupied, gives me meaning. If I have a great deal to do, I must be somewhat important. I have responsibilities, a role to play, a function to accomplish, someone to report to. My life’s like an automatic flow of activities dictated by somebody else. One activity routinely follows another. And I live sensibly ever after.

I realise that my approach may be completely foolish. Quitting my new job at an interesting company. Giving up my regular pay check. “Where are you going again?”, I’ve been asked a hundred times. It’s hard to explain that I just want to figure out what I really want to do with my life. How clichéd is that? And I know most people manage to do that while keeping their day jobs.

A drastic step. That’s the way to go forward for me. Even if it has financial implications in the short term, I’m jumping off the career train. Taking a break. Creating space. At one level I feel very calm about the whole thing. I know I’m not going to be rushing into any interviews before I uncover what my true passion is. I’ve always been on an intuitive journey, but perhaps now it’s time to set a destination as well. Like in David Allen’s GTD methodology, I need to first define a desired outcome. Only then can I make a critical decision about the next action. I trust my friend yoga will clear my mind and help me with directions.

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10 thoughts on “The moment of truth

  1. Good luck Anu, I never took this step – until Acu wound up and then it was like a whole new world opened up. Time to think, relax and not rush decisions. Enjoy!

  2. With greatest respect, every Blessing to you. Reading this encouraged a tear to roll, long lost self-motivation to pit its hand up again and context to play its part. Whether you believe or not, the Holy Spirit was meant for exactly this.

    Love and Happiness

    Nick, London UK

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